Mighty Aphrodite

Haha - Thanks for letting me know! :D

Chapter Thirteen The stairs were long and made of marble, so it took quite an effort for Max and Jonas to hide their footfalls as they raced to the second ...

I agree with Snoik--I want to say it's a cute story, too, and is. That's not a bad thing, though! And I think it's pretty good since you wrote it ...

Chapter Twelve “Camael?” Jonas and Max gasped as the angel pulled itself out of the split in the earth. “Sorry about that,” he said, standing on the grass and clapping ...

Chapter Eleven Ness hit the ground hard. She heard Jonas fall next to her, heard the sound of flesh smacking off concrete. She heard the evil laugh of the cloaked ...

I don't really like the rhyme scheme in this poem because it's predictable and trite. The last two lines completely break the rhyme scheme, and to me it seems like ...

Finally, another chapter! I'm really sorry about the delays, but I've been buried under homework and Fall Break was just this past weekend. I'm going to try and post a ...

Yeah, I have one—I think it's an Audiovox. It has a camera on it, too, but I don't really use that part. I need the phone, though, 'cause I'm in ...

Chapter Nine It was chaos. Ness screamed as the light swept her into it, pushing her towards the three boys. She had the strangest feeling of merging , of being ...

I think this is a good start. It's a bit confusing, though--maybe it's because I've been awake too long today--but I don't really understand exactly what the demons are. Maybe ...

Chapter Eight Landon turned the camera on and they started down the steep hill. “And we’re off on a midnight journey into the woods,” he said dramatically behind the camera. ...

Thanks for catching all that for me. Just so you aren't confused--Max ended up with the top part of the mop--you know, that white spidery part. I didn't want to ...

First, just a few general punctuation and grammar things: "Kitten," A voice whispered... Is what you wrote. You don't need to capitalize "a" right after the quotation. "Breathing in a ...

Chapter Seven It was spread over the table like a spotlight, shining and reflecting off the odd colors of the boys’ hair. There was no source to the light; it ...

Make sure you've read all the other chapters first! Thanks! Chapter Six Over the next week, Ness didn’t get to invite Landon or his friends over for a pool party ...